This question interests almost every person of any age. This question is rarely asked to a psychologist. Sometimes it is discussed with close friends. And very often it is “googled”. So where do complexes come from about appearance in general and nudity in particular? Let’s think!
The very first information about the body we receive from parents and relatives. Then from kindergarten teachers, then from teachers at school, from peers. It just so happened in society that it is not customary to show one’s sensitivity to others and to oneself. We are taught to play the roles of good girls and strong boys.
We get used to the fact that sensitivity = vulnerability. And vulnerability is very bad in our cruel world. But actually it is not! Sensitivity to our emotions and to the emotions of others teaches us to perceive the world as an exciting place in which to live a rich and vibrant life. Sensitivity helps a lot even in bad everyday situations. You just feel in advance that something is wrong, and bypass events, people, situations. Think about it that way!
Growing up complexes
There are practically no people in the world who have not been touched by complexes acquired in childhood. Even if you are lucky and your baggage of complexes is small, traumatic situations of adolescence will catch up with you.
First love. First refusal. Ridicule for too protruding ears, not inflated torso, small breasts, big ass. This list can be continued indefinitely… There will always be a person who does not like something in your appearance! Even if you are an angel, for someone the rustle of your wings will be too loud and not melodious enough.
Complexity of youth
Having barely coped with part of the children’s and youth complexes, the beauty standards dictated by society and fashion fall upon us. And these standards are so high that it is impossible to achieve them even for the lucky ones, who were generously awarded by nature with an attractive appearance.
It will take us many years of our lives to understand that this is marketing. We are being manipulated in the name of commerce. It is impossible to sell something to people who are satisfied with themselves. Fear and self–doubt push us to do something that will bring us even a little closer to the invented ideal.
Our complexes about our appearance make us adjust ourselves to someone else’s invented standards, meet someone else’s expectations, be comfortable and obedient. And that means not being happy!
Society of criticism
We live in a society where mistakes are pointed out to us, but our successes are never shown to us. Therefore, someone else’s opinion is so important to us, and it is mostly critical.
Because of this, in adulthood, we focus on the minuses, completely forgetting that for balance we are given one huge plus — the right to choose! Only we have the right to choose how we perceive ourselves as a whole, our appearance and even our nakedness …
And, oh mysticism! Once we accept ourselves, society accepts us with all our “flaws”! In some magical way, our shortcomings turn into our strengths! And from an ugly duckling we turn into a beautiful swan. And the criticism of others is absolutely not important to beautiful swans!
Secret in pleasure
Now that we have become adults, we do not have to be obedient and listen to the opinions of others, especially whose opinion no one asked. Now we can afford to live for our own pleasure. For example, wearing clothes that you like or not wearing them at all… Here we are talking exclusively about nudist beaches, I do not urge you to walk naked around the city and scare passers-by! You should not only take care of your pleasure, but also remember the comfort of others. Remember, they’re just not ready to see your nude performance show at the moment.
Don’t put off your life! You say… When I lose weight, I will allow myself a photo session in the nude genre. When I make a figure, I will try to sunbathe naked. When I get plastic surgery, I will be loved for my beautiful face and body. Understand that all this may not happen, and you will definitely regret the missed opportunities. For example, how I regret…
Revelation: “I regret that there was a huge 10-year break in my photography practice. If you are wondering what years I didn’t pose at all, look for the “Portfolio / By year of shooting” tab. And now I understand the full depth of the loss. But, having concluded, now I will not miss the opportunity to enjoy the adventure called “Photo shoots in the Nude genre.” Even though I’m older now, even if some people tell me that I have completely lost my shame, I will still be photographed naked, because I know that the secret is in pleasure in myself, in life itself and in the compliments of people who truly like me!
Learn to accept yourself
It is no secret that in order to like yourself, it is important to hear pleasant words from others. But what you think about yourself is much more important!
There are some simple exercises that will help you accept your appearance and see your strengths.
The mirror is your friend
When you look at yourself in the mirror, don’t look for flaws. Focus on your benefits. Everyone has something to be proud of: beautiful long hair, thick eyelashes, incredible freckles, a Greek nose… The list goes on for a very long time!
Have you looked at yourself? Now undress! Slowly. Admire the striptease in your performance. Are you undressed? Take a look at yourself again, focusing on your most attractive parts of the body: long legs, graceful shoulders, curvaceous hips… Continue the list of charms, do not be afraid to indulge in yourself!
This exercise can be repeated every day, even several times a day. There will be no overdose!
Organize a show for your loved one. Go home naked. Nothing excites a man more than his naked lover in the kitchen. Give him bread and circuses and he will be yours forever! A caveat, it’s better to do this when you are alone at home, suddenly you get so turned on by each other that you want to continue…
This exercise can have different locations, such as sharing a bath or shower, trying on new dresses, even cleaning the apartment. Release your imagination and have fun!
Auto-training from the film of the same name “The most charming and attractive!” definitely works. Checked. But there are more options: “I accept and love my body!”, “Each person is unique and beautiful in his own way”, “I am beautiful and can turn anyone’s head!” “I have mangetism and sexuality!”, “I’m so gorgeous, I would kiss myself like that!”…
You can use these phrases, but it’s better to come up with your own and repeat them as often as possible. And if this exercise is combined with the first — “The mirror is your friend”, the effect will double!
Sports and body
I would like to make a reservation: “Not only sport is the only one in life!”. We need an integrated approach — physical activity + nutrition + motivation and support.
If you like strength training, great. If not, there are plenty of other activities: walking, dancing, swimming. Choose to your liking. For example, I love to dance. And not just dance, but paired with a man. In addition to physical activity, I get the experience of communication. Dancing is also interesting because my partner is responsible for my comfort and it is very nice. My task is to feel his impulses and follow them. This is incredibly sensitive!
Nutrition for beauty and health
It is food, not diet — do not confuse! Beauty starts with health. Compliance with someone invented parameters 90-60-90 will not make you beautiful. Beauty is within us!
It’s easy enough to follow proper nutrition all your life, but diets either end or you break down. And then you scold yourself, seize defeat or completely abandon this hopeless cause… There is a lot of information about nutrition on the Internet. Start to be interested in this topic and you will definitely understand how to build your diet in order to be healthy and like yourself and others.
Motivation and support
We need motivation in everything. And we must learn to motivate ourselves. Everyone goes their own way: some by the method of mistakes, others by learning from the experience of others, and others by studying information. In any case, you will find something that will motivate you — a goal, a dream, a cherished desire!
The strongest support usually comes from the person closest to you. If your partner admires you, compliments you, seeks to touch you — believe him, even if at this moment it seems to you that you do not look the way you would like. Beauty is in the eyes of the person looking at you and in your mirror, see the “The mirror is your friend” section.
And remember: “Never compare yourself to others! You are unique! Alone in the whole world! The world is so beautiful and diverse, and you are one of its masterpieces. And don’t be afraid to expose your soul and body to yourself first!”
Text — Iren Adler